The midsemester examinations are over, the festive mood is on, 'Brisingr'(Chritopher Paolini's third book in 'Inheritance Series') is out - on the whole I am in no mood to study. But then what is the way out? The lab records have to be written and the assignments have to be done and so everytime I waste my time, a tiny voice in my head reproaches me saying : "remember Suvro sir - he was ready teach you even on the Asthami - duties have to be done - that sort of dilignce and sincerity is the ideal ". ( Let me tell you, Suvro sir is one of the very few people who have profoundly influenced my thoughts, beliefs and my actions - he is one of the best teachers I have had ,and I have sort of idolised him for the last three years.)
As I comfortably in my hostel room complaining about my trivial discomforts, sometimes that tiny little voice in my mind awakens me from my blissful indifference to the world outside the campus - and I am engulfed in an enormous sense of agony. I remember the so familiar and yet so alien world outside - the world that is enslaved by cruel poverty - little children scavenging for some rotten food in the dustbin , filthy beggars trying , in vain, to melt the stone hearts of some fine young rich men , seemingly 'subhuman' creatures strewn about in the pavement and platforms oblivious to the gibes of boots - the list goes on and on. What is 'India Shining' to them? What does Durgapuja signify for them ? I feel so utterly disgusted with myself - I am so utterly selfish that I hardly spare a thought for these people in the ordinary course of my life. I am happy to get rid of an irritating beggar by tossing a coin into his bowl - and then fill myself with a false sense of achievement and self satisfaction - 'I am at least kinder than these handful of people around me who despite being far wealthier than me are too selfish to part with even a rupee.'I know what it is like - it is like being the most intelligent among a group of donkeys , nothing more. And yet I am content! Shame! Shame! Shame on me!
1 comment:
“Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity of self-change. And in observing himself a man notices that self-observation itself brings about certain changes in his inner processes. He begins to understand that self-observation is an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening.”
what u observe is the harsh truth. the weak dominated by the rich is a sinful act in practice for centuries... nd its these few people like u, who care 2 give a 2nd thought to it, r d ones who can make a change...
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